Brain Dead!

That’s about how I feel these days.  I have a job that is pretty mentally demanding during the day, so when I get home in the evenings, my brain just wants to shutdown and turn into a vegetable.  So I wind up sitting in a chair with my laptop and playing a game, or watching TV.  Not much writing happens these days, and reading even has taken a backseat.  Sure, I’m getting some reading done, but it isn’t in the same quantity as before.

So how do you get out of that rut?  Well, in my case I just need to settle into the job and once I have a grip on it, things will improve.  It’s been about a year since I seriously wrote something that wasn’t a review or a blog entry, and it was almost a year ago that I got the job that got me to where I am now.  I’ve been in my current position for 4 months, now, and I think I’ve a grip on things, so everyday I feel a little better when I get home.  I’m also eating better (sort of) and shooting to improve my health (need to lose some weight and get off my ass and ride my bike more).  And, with the very early arrival of spring, I find my own mood lifting.

Which is why when two weeks ago a story idea just came to mind and I grabbed it and let it churn in my head, I was pleased when I found myself still pondering it several days later.  I’ve warped and altered the story, making it more sinister, then backing down and making it more preachy.  And so on.  I finally wrote my idea into my Ideas document and made some notes in my Moleskine.  More than I’ve done in a while.  That makes me happy, because I’m starting to get back to where I was several years ago when I started this journey of becoming published.

I’m still sticking to my pursuit of quality and my desire to only be published by the best out there.  I could just toss my stories to the lesser markets right out of the gate to get that quick “I got published!” feeling, but I’m in no rush at all.  I’m still going to be an insatiable perfectionist with my stories, only turning one loose when I’m sure that its worth being read and when I am (mostly) satisfied that it’s the best it can be.

So I may have been down, but I’m not out.  I’m still reviewing books (Bull Spec #7 should hopefully be out soon).  I’m still the Assistant Managing Editor at Tangent (I also maintain the site’s Facebook and Twitter presence).  I’m just also a very busy service desk supervisor that needs to let things balance out.  All things in due time.  There’s no rush. 🙂